Dahl's Dirty Beasts

Some children may grow up thinking that poetry is an art form that is stodgy and boring, or has to revolve around lofty ideas. If that is the case, they cannot have been introduced to Roald Dahl's 'Dirty Beasts', a collection of nine verses each featuring a creature that is either particularly frightening, very clever or quite extraordinary in some way. The book is likely to delight anyone who has enjoyed Dahl's 'The BFG', 'George's Marvellous Medicine' or 'The Twits', amongst others.

'The Pig' opens this anthology: a pig with a massive brain, who wonders what the purpose of his life is. He is clever enough to work it out:

'“They want my bacon slice by slice

“To sell at a tremendous price!

“They want my tender juicy chops

“To put in all the butchers' shops!”'

You can probably guess what happens when Farmer Bland comes to feed him the following morning.

No less gruesome is the verse about 'The Crocodile'. Not the best choice for bedtime reading, as this beast smears boys with mustard before crunching them, and devours little girls with butterscotch and caramel:

'It's such a super marvellous treat

When boys are hot and girls are sweet.'

A single page is then accorded to 'The Lion', who doesn't beat about the bush when it comes to telling us his favourite food. We are then introduced to 'The Scorpion' and told to be thankful that we in England will never find one in our bed – or will we? 'There's something moving on my feet'...

'The Ant-Eater' looks quite cuddly in comparison but beware, looks are deceiving. 'The Porcupine' teaches us the all-important lesson of having a good look before we sit down anywhere. A poor little girl fails to do this before settling on a 'comfy-looking little mound' to eat her favourite raspberry-cream chocolates that she has just bought with her pocket-money:

'My backside seemed to catch on fire!

A hundred bits of red-hot bits of wire

A hundred prickles sticking in

And puncturing my precious skin!'

A very costly visit to the dentist ensues, as mum seems to think he is the best person to remove the prickles. He seems to take great delight in doing so, and well he might with fifty guineas to come as payment.

We might expect 'The Cow' to be a less threatening beast, although Miss Milky Daisy is no ordinary cow but one that grows a pair of gold and silver wings. The crowds come to see her dive, swoop and loop the loop, and all but one of the onlookers clap, cheer and behave well. Can you guess what punishment is inflicted on the 'horrid man' who insults Daisy? Now we know why this anthology is entitled 'Dirty Beasts'.

The final verse in the collection, 'The Tummy Beast', describes a young boy who is convinced that there is someone in his tummy:

' “It's true!” I cried. “I swear it, mummy!

There is a person in my tummy!

He talks to me at night in bed,

He's always asking to be fed.” '

The poor boy's mother doesn't believe a word of it. She thinks it's just a 'silly asinine excuse' to be greedy and eat sugar buns and biscuits all day long. To look at this specimen of childhood obesity, you might tend to agree with her. I'm afraid, however, that 'darling mother' nearly dies when she actually hears the beast in the tummy snort, grumble and then actually demand nuts, chocolates and sweets. It's all too much for her.

Quentin Blake's imaginative caricatures add even more to the feeling of fun in this book. He really goes to town on the creatures in 'Dirty Beasts', where The Ant-eater devours an eighty-three-year-old woman (mistaking 'aunt' for 'ant'), flinging her in the air by her pony-tail. In 'the Toad and the Snail' we see grinning Frenchmen brandishing knives as they chase a giant toad; this turns out to be a magic toad who turns first into a giant snail and then into the 'gorgeous, glamorous, absurd, enchanting Roly-poly bird', a beautiful shade of blue with a multi-coloured, stripy tail, on whose back a little boy rides.

The humour here will not, of course, be to everyone's taste, and some of the ideas will be frightening for very young children. Slightly older independent readers, however, who appreciate this kind of humour will have plenty of fun going through this collection and letting their imagination run wild. The illustrations will provide a delightful source of encouragement. The only drawback is that the poems are not split into stanzas, and in a few cases there are as many as thirty-six continuous lines to a page. This could prove a little confusing or off-putting to a young reader who is still gaining confidence.

To anyone who has enjoyed Roald Dahl's novels but has not yet experienced his poetry, I would definitely recommend this collection of verse. I would also suggest it for children who perhaps need encouragement to read poetry and who will not be frightened by the ideas here but will see the funny side to them. There is plenty of rhythm and rhyme, and plenty of entertainment to be had.

Dirty Beasts

by Roald Dahl

with illustrations by Quentin Blake

Picture Puffins 2001

Paperback, 32 pages

ISBN 0140568239

Price £5.99 (Amazon £4.49)